In 2006, Christine O’Donnell, who was running for the Republican Senate primary in Delaware, cited “classified” information from a “non-profit” that supported her claim that China has a “carefully thought out and strategic plan to take over America.” In the Republican primary debate, she further said on the topic of China and the Chinese:
And thank God for Christine O’Donnell! Without her “classified information”, we might never know about this terrible threat of “Yellow Terrors” (accurately depicted in the frighteningly realistic mid-nineteenth century photograph above) that are invading America’s otherwise pristine shores!
After all, look at the photographic evidence captured just last year in Michigan by another civilian hero who surreptitously snuck into enemy territory in order to collect these classified photos. Check out those scary looking tanks, and that Chinese man non-chalantly standing next to it — obviously, Michigan has suffered a military takeover by Chinese forces. And that white guy — could that be a Russian?
How can we ignore the terrified, anguished faces of those Americans, who have clearly been taken as political prisoners of the Chinese-Russian military force? How can our president stand idly by while we allow this ongoing threat from China to persist within our borders?
Well, clearly, our president — Barack Hussein Obama, is just a mindless Communist sympathizer of our would-be Chinese overlords. He is obviously a part of the political element of the Chinese-Russian conspiracy, which involves placing high-ranking Chinese spies in positions of power within the American government! Just the other day, Obama appointed the first ever Asian American Chief of Staff to replace the departing Rahm Emanuel. Further, Obama’s got a whopping three Chinese members of his presidential Cabinet, and he’s been tirelessly appointing other Asians to high-level federal positions.
Clearly, President Obama is a puppet of the Chinese government. I heard his brother-in-law is even of some kind of Chinese descent — he must be the handler to Obama’s Manchurian Candidate.
Heck, O’Donnell is the courageous one here. She has, time and time again, been willing to stand up against this massive Chinese-Russian Communist conspiracy and speak out against its efforts, even though this might make her a target of the ninjas that the Chinese have employed to eliminate all conspiracy dissentors. The statements she made earlier exposing the conspiracy were made in a debate against fellow Republican primary hopeful, Jan Ting — an Asian American (aka a Chinese spy) who ultimately won the Republican primary election (but lost to Democrat Tom Carper)! Christine O’Donnell basically took her life in her hands to warn us of China’s plans!
And how do I know all this?
Well, I’m Chinese, which means that I, too, am a member of the Chinese-Russian Communist conspiracy to invade and take over America. This blog, which appears to be about politics and pop culture, is actually a communication tool to help coordinate the efforts of the millions of Chinese spies that are already infiltrating American society, in preparation for the day when we reveal ourselves and assume our rightful positions as your merciful Communist overlords.
But, I’ve spent too much time here in America. I’ve been seduced by your incredibly sophisticated and ever-relevant culture, and your political democracy that guarantees life, prosperity, equal rights and civil liberties. I have seen the error of my far-left-wing Commie ways, and now I want to halt the carefully-laid plans of my co-conspirators. I wish I wasn’t privy to some of the classified information that I am privy to, but like Christine O’Donnell (the all-American hero that she is), I feel an obligation to warn innocent Americans of this terrible domestic threat.
And so, I have decided to use the very tools initially established to invade your country to issue this warning: hide your kids, hide your wives and hide your husbands — ‘cuz the Chinese gonna be invadin’ everybody out here!
More information will be posted if I survive the Chinese-Russian ninjas that are no doubt being sent to this very location to stop me from further broadcasts. The chair is against the wall. The chair is against the wall. Stay aware and stay safe, my friends!
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Since 2001, Reappropriate has been the web's foremost Asian American activism, identity, feminism, and pop culture blog!