Balloon Boy Parents Go To Jail

Do not pass “Go”. Do not collect $200. Sure as heck, do not get a reality TV show deal.

After executing an ill-conceived plan (that involved lying to cops about their 6-year-old son supposedly being in a weather balloon floating hundreds of miles above ground) to garner sufficient publicity to get a reality TV deal, Richard and Mayumi Heene are facing some jail time.

Larimer County Judge Stephen Schapanski, who chose to adhere to a plea agreement, sentenced Richard Heene to 90 days in custody, to begin January 11. Heene can spend the last 60 days of the sentence in a work release program but must return to the jail at night, the judge said.

Heene will be on probation for four years and must complete 100 hours of community service each year during that period.

Mayumi Heene was sentenced to 20 days in jail — less than the 60 days sought by prosecutors. The judge said her term would begin after her husband’s jail sentence ends, so at least one of them can be with their children during that time.

She was given the option of serving her time over 10 weekends. She also received four years’ probation and must perform 120 hours of community service.

The couple also must pay restitution, but no exact amount was announced in court. The judge ordered that they not benefit financially from the incident.

Cue all the people complaining that they should be punished more severely. After all the monetary damage done by “Balloon Boy” ($47,000 for the search as well as delaying air traffic at the Denver International Airport), as well as the fact that the whole thing was kind of a painful, embarassing train wreck, people are understandably pissy.

“In summary, what this case is about is deception — exploitation of the children of the Heenes, exploitation of the media, exploitation of the emotions of the people — and it’s about money. This was all done for the purpose of making money,” Schapanski said.

The Heenes pleaded guilty last month. Richard Heene was charged with the felony of attempting to influence a public servant, and his wife faced a misdemeanor charge of false reporting to authorities.

Richard Heene’s attorney, David Lane, said his client has expressed remorse and accepted full responsibility for what happened. He tried to convince the judge that Richard Heene didn’t deserve jail time because there was no violence involved.

On his client’s behalf, Lane asked that Mayumi Heene not go to jail.

“That is his primary concern. He has taken full and complete responsibility. Do not send his wife to jail. That is his plea,” Lane said.

According to the wife’s attorney, the couple is hated because of what happened. “It’s nothing that anybody should wish on anyone else,” he said.

But, personally, I think being labelled — forever, pretty much — as being amongst the worst parents in history, we should just call it a day and end the Heene family’s 15 minutes.

And meanwhile, the question that I keep wondering is this: if the “Balloon Boy” hoax was a botched publicity stunt, exactly how was the whole thing supposed to work? Were people supposed to go “Whew, thank God Balloon Boy didn’t fall to his death! Gee whiz, I was so entertained by that big silver balloon, that I want to see this whole family regularly, every Thursday night at 7pm on TLC, right after Jon and Kate”?

Can you get jail time for stupid?

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